Seeing Monsters in Hiding in Plain Sight

Truman Capote, famously known for his bon mots, once said, “I can see every monster as they come in.” I remember the first time I realized I knew a person was a monster. Unfortunately, I hadn’t spotted them the first time I met them. But, I have learned that to identify those monsters in our lives we have to constantly be on the lookout for them.

Growing up in a small southern town, I was sheltered from much during my childhood. While, in some ways, I treasure that and hold on to that innocence where I can, I was not prepared for the monsters I would encounter during my life. It took me a long time to develop the ability to see the dark side of man so quickly. That ability was a learned one, through many monsters that I suffered through. With each experience that felt like the end of me, I learned a few things.

First, I learned to pay attention. Every one tells you who they are very early. You just have to be able to see them through what they want you to see. Our brains (and hearts) will trick us into thinking we’ve misjudged or we are being too harsh. The worst is when we believe we can save them from their darkness. You can never kiss a monster into a prince. Trust me, I’ve nearly died trying.

Learning the skill of seeing people for who they truly are and believing myself was just the start. We can, if we aren’t careful, build a hard shell around our hearts because of the hurt other people inflict upon us. We beat ourselves up for not being smarter, or being too forgiving. To me, the greatest lesson I have learned from my superpower to see the monsters in my life is they did not break my spirit, they have not hardened me or embittered me. A friend once told me, “Charlie, I admire you so much. You can get your heart trampled and still be open to love.” I smiled and said, “What else is there? Love is more important in this world than hate. The lightness of being open to love is what keeps us alive and living life we can be proud of.” I stand by that. Not in spite of, but because of.

That’s me. Charlie. Killer of monsters.